Invader girl of Gravity Falls
by The Cowardly Christian
Summary: When the Oni invade the twisted world of gravity Falls before the fateful Summer the Pines Twins have their adventure...would this change doom or save us all?


**Invader girl of Gravity Falls**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...…...

The Oni had come...that was what the people of earth were screaming...

...it had only been a single day since the alien species called 'Oni' had invaded Earth...and in that single day they'd completely disabled earth's military infrastructure...leaving them helpless.

Naturally, they all feared conquest and enslavement...until they got a message from the King Oni Manly Dan...it was broadcast across all channels and all frequencies

"We Oni are a sporting race...we will randomly select ONE of your inhabitants to game of Tag with my daughter Wendy...if they can succeed within the time limit...the earth will be spared conquest...fail, and we conquer you."

Despite how weird the situation was...people clung to hope as the lottery began-

 **Dipper Pines, Piedmont California (age 12)**

-and it is said the whole world cried out in despair at that moment...

...

"Dad this is just sad...can't we just do the lottery again?...it feels like I'm kicking a puppy while it's down." Said Wendy sorrowfully.

Manly Dan sighed. "Sorry sweetheart...but the traditionalists are adamant...and frankly I need to save my political clout for more important things then overriding them simply for the pride of a non-Oni race...we'll triple the size of their beaches when we rule them, make their woman adopt a similar fashion sense as ours as well...that ALWAYS makes new conquered worlds happy."

Wendy sighs, it wasn't much but she'll do it...it was too bad, she was looking forward to a good fight...oh, well...duty was duty...

She quickly sharpened her horns, adjusted her leopard skin bikini and go-go boots...and then flew down to the arena...as expected it was a light turn out...aside for the mandatory representatives...no one wanted to see this clearly one-sided spectacle...what would be the point? From what she heard, humanity had more or less resigned themselves to their fate...already adopting Oni rules and culture...

"Right, let's just get this over with." Thought Wendy dispassionately. She turns to he opponent...he was a roughly small, cute-ish boy for his age...who seemed to be carrying a large pot...?

Wendy shrugged it off, she just wanted to get this over with...ordinarily, she'd toy with her opponent a bit...but this was already sad enough as it was...so without another word...she lazily flew far above his reach...

"Alright...just stay up here until the timer runs out...then just repeat the next couple of days until you win...and- IS THAT TABASCO SAUCE!?" She screamed suddenly, mouth drooling.

Dipper smiled. His theory was true! Long ago, these aliens came to their world! Thus inspiring the legend of 'Oni'! It had taken all night studying fringe science textbooks and obscure paranormal websites...but he finally learned of a forgotten myth of Oni's love for Tabasco sauce!

He stirred the pot as the sauce came to a boil and let the smell waft toward her...and their she was! Speeding at him like a bullet! Everyone gasped! Dipper readied himself to tag her-

Like all the other spectators, Manly Dan had been thrown by this turn of events! But years of experience quickly snapped him out of it- "WENDY! IT'S A TRICK! RESIST IT!"

Her father's words reached her, snapping her out of it. She then tried to pull up from her dive- Dipper seeing his one shot to save the earth disappearing, frantically jumped up, hands outstretched, desperate to tag her-

 **TAG!**

 **RIP!**

Dipper went bright red...in his hand he contained her bikini top...his eyes were fixed on- He quickly looked down. Wendy somehow managed to be redder then even her hair as she quickly covered herself...

Nobody said a word...then the timer went off. Getting his bearings back, Dipper turned to the judges. "Uh...dose that count?"

...

To make a long story short: It did...the earth was saved...

Needless to say, Dipper went from a nobody no one would ever root for...to a hero...and Mable, since she bet her life-savings on him(she was the only one that did)...and since the odds were a 1,000, 000 to one...she's now rich...the first thing she dose is buy a pig named Waddles.

The fame got so out of control...that their parents had to send them away from the media circus while it- hopefully -died down...to an isolated town no one had ever heard of...a town called Gravity Falls...

...but their was one more surprise-

 **"I'M MARRIED!?"**

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


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